Forget Baby Showers: How to Plan a Mother Blessing
The modern way we live isn't natural - we sit isolated in our separate boxes, managing so much as mothers on our own, with no tribe to speak of, very little support or understanding, and SUCH high expectations.
So when it comes to experiencing a positive pregnancy, birth and the fourth trimester - it matters that we try to regain some of that connection and sisterhood that we would have had in ancient times.
What is a Mother Blessing?
"Communal gatherings to honour expectant mothers are not a new trend. They are an ancient practice shared across cultures worldwide. Most famously, modern Mother Blessings draw inspiration from the Navajo (Diné) Blessingway ceremony, a sacred rite used to mark major life transitions with spiritual harmony, blessings, and community strength.
Over the 20th century, these sacred rituals gradually faded from mainstream western culture as birth moved out of the home and into clinical hospital settings. At the same time, commercial baby showers grew popular, shifting the cultural focus onto consumer products.
Today many mothers, doulas, and birthkeepers are reclaiming these traditions, bringing the focus back to where it belongs: supporting the woman at the centre of the journey."
Why did I have a Mother Blessing?
I didn't know about Mother Blessings with my first pregnancy so I was keen to have one with Rosie. No-one threw me a 'baby shower' in my first pregnancy and I felt sad that I didn't have a group of friends - or even one close friend - who wanted to do that for me.
When I started uncovering my spiritual self during my second pregnancy journey - I wished that I could have a Mother Blessing. It felt like a beautiful way to honour the journey of becoming a mother (again). I wanted to feel what it would have been like in ancestral times when women really supported other women. We just don't have much of that in our lives now and my soul feels the lack of it.
But I didn't have many people to invite, and it felt like a lot of money to spend on myself (especially when I had so few women who might care enough to come!).
"It felt a bit embarrassing to be honest... to say to people "Hey, will you come and treat me like I'm special?"
I didn't think I would be able to have a blessing because I don't have many friends or family - I didn't think anybody would want to do something like that for me. But a doula who I met after my first birth, Georgie, very kindly offered to host my Mother Blessing at her home for a much-reduced cost.
My virtual doula Sheryl joined us via video call so she could be present in the circle too.
"A Mother Blessing reminds a mother that she is not stepping into the intensity of birth alone. She is held, loved, and uplifted by a conscious circle of support."
I decided to have Maggie and Shaun there as well, not only because I don't have many women in my life, but because it didn't make sense to do something special without my soul family. As with our home birth prep, it was crown chakra themed!
I wore a special purple flower crown and the flowing purple dress I hoped to wear during birth, which was the absolute opposite of a sterile hospital gown. For me, this colour symbolised spiritual connection, safety, and feeling divinely guided as I approached my healing birth.
We had a crown chakra cake, and prepped purple sparkly bunting in advance for the women to decorate, and then we hung them up round our birth space.
Each woman brought a special bead and I strung them together onto a necklace to wear to remind me of their support. I received massage, had a ceremonial foot bath, heard beautiful messages from each woman, we did chakra chanting together, and ate a lovely lunch.
I bought seven purple candles and wrapped them with a note for each woman to take home and asked them to light the candle when my birth started to wish me love and good fortune.
There were definitely parts of it that I found awkward, but I recognise that that's because I haven't had much experience of being honoured by women - so I didn't shy away from it.
"I felt very open and curious to how uncomfortable it felt to be the centre of attention, and for other women to do nice things for me."
I want to share ideas for how women can hold space for themselves and each other (if they don't want to pay for somebody to do it for them). It's messed up that it feels so uncomfortable to be treated nicely by other women - we have lost our way...
Forget about a baby shower: what about the mother?
Unlike a modern baby shower that asks, "What does the baby need?", a Mother Blessing turns the focus around to ask, "What about the mother?"
While showering a newborn with clothes and accessories might feel exciting, a Mother Blessing recognise that a woman is undergoing a profound life transition of her own - even if it's not her first baby. A Mother Blessing puts the woman's emotional, physical, and spiritual needs at the heart of the celebration (where they should be!).
How to plan a mother blessing: ceremony & ritual ideas
Whether you are planning a ceremony for yourself or organising one as a host for a pregnant friend, use this guide to build a soulful, memorable gathering tailored to the mother's unique personality and beliefs.
1. Choose a Theme, Location, and Guest List
Start by deciding on the tone and setting. A Mother Blessing can take place in a cosy living room, a garden, or a hired space. When thinking about the guest list, ask the mother who she feels most comfortable around. Traditionally, these gatherings consist of close female friends and relatives, but there are no strict rules. You can invite partners, children, or support people who feel important to her birth journey.
You can also choose a colour palette or spiritual focus that resonates with the mother. For my own blessing, we chose crown chakra purple, representing intuitive wisdom and spiritual trust.
2. Create a Cosy, Sacred Space
Transform the room into an inviting sanctuary so everyone feels comfortable sitting for extended periods. Clear away clutter and arrange floor cushions, blankets, and low tables in a circle. Place the mother-to-be in a raised or central position with extra pillows for back support so she feels genuinely honoured and cared for.
Personalise the room using elements that bring comfort and strength: fresh flowers, candles, essential oil diffusers, crystals, or meaningful artwork. I brought several of my spiritual birth art pieces to place around the circle to add more motherhood energy to the space.
3. Begin with Opening Grounding Rituals & Chanting
Help guests transition from the busy outside world into a calm, focused mindset. You can open the circle with a guided meditation, beautiful music and vocal grounding exercises or singing.
At my ceremony, Georgie led us in chakra chanting to align our voices and calm the nervous system, establishing a serene atmosphere for the rituals ahead. You could play some beautiful music to set the tone.
4. Share Meaningful Words & Readings
Ask the guests if they'd like to prepare a meaningful poem or reading before hand - or just share some advice - and take it in turns to share round the circle. If people aren't sure you could give them some suggestions.
5. Include Pampering Rituals
Physical pampering offers the mother a tangible experience of being cared for by her tribe. A ceremonial foot wash is a beautiful grounding exercise. Prepare a large basin of warm water infused with floral petals, bath salts, and gentle essential oils like lavender or chamomile (check she likes them first).
After washing and drying her feet, encourage guests to take turns giving the mother gentle hand, foot, shoulder, or scalp massages using nourishing oils. While receiving that level of physical care can feel unfamiliar at first, it reinforces how powerful and healing conscious physical support can be.
6. String a Birthing Necklace
The bead ritual is one of the most popular Mother Blessing activities because it leaves the mother with a physical keepsake for her birth space. Ask each guest to bring a unique bead that carries a specific wish, prayer, or intention for the birth, such as strength, patience, trust, or peace.
During the circle, each person passes their bead to the mother while speaking their blessing aloud. The beads are then threaded onto cord or ribbon to form a birthing necklace or garland. The mother can wear this during birth or hang it near her bed as a constant reminder of her community's love.
7. Create something together
Creative activities give guests a practical way to pour encouragement into the mother's birth environment. Prepare pre-cut triangle flags made from card stock or fabric, along with markers, stamps, glitter, and ribbons.
Invite everyone to write uplifting messages, birth mantras, or draw symbolic imagery on the flags. Phrases like "My Body Knows How," "Soften and Open," and "You Are Strong" offer huge mental support when hung around the birth space or home during the final weeks of pregnancy.
You could also bring a little book that the guests could write messages in for when birth starts, or after the baby is born.
You could download some of my birth affirmation colouring pages and decorate them for the mother to put up in her birth space or around her birth altar.
You could bring along oil pastels, acrylic markers or watercolours and a mixed media pad or slim canvases - or even one big one! - and you could create some abstract art together, maybe symbolising the baby in the womb or the birth journey.
You could bring face paints and everyone could join in decorating the mother's belly - or download my baby in the womb art kit and have everyone create some art to represent the mother's womb and happy baby!
8. Organise a Birth Candle Circle
Create an ongoing connection between the mother and her circle during labour itself. Give each attendee a matching candle, such as small beeswax or lavender votives, to take home.
When the mother goes into labour, a quick group message is sent out. Each guest lights their candle in their own home, establishing a unified network of light, focused thought, and positive energy surrounding her throughout her birth.
9. Share a Nourishing Meal Together
Close the ceremony by transitioning into a shared meal. A bring-and-share buffet where guests bring wholesome, homemade dishes, fresh fruits, herbal teas, or a special celebratory cake gives everyone time to chat, connect, and celebrate in a relaxed atmosphere.
Tips for Personalising Your Ceremony
There is no rigid template for a Mother Blessing. The most impactful ceremonies are those that reflect the mother's authentic spirit. You might include red thread bonding rituals where you tie cord around everyone's wrists until baby is born, belly painting, henna art, or collective meal-prepping for her postpartum freezer.
Focus on whatever brings the mother maximum peace, connection, and joy.
What if you want a birth worker to organise it for you?
If you love the idea of a Mother Blessing but feel overwhelmed by the thought of coordinating it, or if you simply want to step into the circle without playing host, hiring a professional birth worker or space holder is a wonderful choice. Having a dedicated doula or birth keeper means someone else handles the structure, guides the rituals, sets up the serene environment, and holds the space so both you and your guests can fully relax and be present.
How to find someone to facilitate your blessing
Finding a birth worker who offers Mother Blessing facilitation in your area is quite straightforward:
- Directory Search: Browse UK directories such as Doula UK, the Holistic Birth Directory, or the UK Doula Network, where you can search by your region or postcode.
- Social Media & Local Networks: Search Instagram or TikTok using terms like "doula [your area]", "Mother Blessing [your town/county]", or "holistic birth keeper". Many doulas share snippets of past ceremonies on their profiles so you can get a feel for their style and energy.
- Hypnobirthing & Yoga Teachers: Local prenatal yoga instructors, independent midwives, and hypnobirthing teachers often host Mother Blessings as part of their extended services or can recommend trusted colleagues who do.
How much is it likely to cost?
Prices for professional facilitation vary depending on where you live in the UK, how long the gathering lasts, and what is included in the package:
- Basic Facilitation (£100 to £160): Typically covers a two hour gathering where the doula plans the structure, leads the grounding meditation, facilitates the guest rituals (like bead stringing and candle blessing), and holds space on the day.
- Full Ceremony Package (£200 to £300+): Often includes a longer experience (around two and a half to three hours), bespoke planning meetings beforehand, providing craft supplies (like flower crowns, bead cords, or bunting materials), setting up the sacred space with cushions and decorations, and sometimes including herbal teas, cacao, or foot bath supplies.
- Included in Doula Packages: If you are already working with a birth or postpartum doula, check their tier options. Many full birth support packages include a Mother Blessing ceremony as part of your antenatal preparation visits.
Reaching out to a local doula was one of the best choices I made for my own blessing, and having a dedicated space holder can transform the day into a deeply personal, stress-free, and special experience.
If you are a doula or birthworker and you'd like some positive birth and pregnancy art to use in your mother blessings or antenatal classes please check out my range of handpainted teaching tools, posters and handouts to download
And my range of printed posters and birth art to decorate your birth education space.
